Ba dum pum

The Emo Philips show reminded me: I'm not much of a gag writer, but I did compose this one, which I'm very proud of.

Q: What happens when you play a country music record backwards?
A: Shania Twain puts her clothes back on.

Funny man

Read my Daily Page review of a club performance last night by comedian Emo Philips.

Good word

"Writing means allowing yourself to think while paying attention to what you think as you think it. A computer is no impediment to that, unless you have broadband."

-- Verlyn Klinkenborg ($) (psst -- you tightwads can read the whole thing here)

Get 'em while they're hot

Look, I designed a hoodie/objet d'art at customink.com. Would you like to buy one? Be the first on your block.

Ropin'

Every year Ereck and I choose a wall calendar that celebrates masculinity, always with a dash or more of homoeroticism. Last year's calendar featured James Bond; three years ago it was Justin Timberlake. And for 2005 I was pleased to find a Bill Clinton calendar at a calendar store in a Nashville mall.

We agree that this year's calendar has a quiet dignity.

The first cut is the deepest

It says something about my Southern upbringing that last Christmas Day in Nashville, when someone was struggling to open one of her Christmas presents, four men in my family stood up simultaneously to offer their pocket knives.

I was not among them. I sometimes carry a pocket knife, but generally not when I am traveling by plane, as I was on that trip.