You didn't ask, but...

Recently a curious person called my newspaper and asked how to start a career in writing. I returned the call and told her, basically, this:

1. Write. For publication. Get your stuff printed in any outlet you can think of, because when you do start trying to sell your writing for money, you're going to need clips -- from the neighborhood newsletter, the church bulletin, anything. And what I just said notwithstanding, you don't necessarily need to get your stuff printed. When I applied for one of my first writing jobs, as an entertainment scribe, among the clips I submitted were product reviews I wrote for amazon.com. These got my foot in the door.

2. Assume you don't suck. Emily Dickinson wrote steadily for decades but published just a handful of poems in her lifetime. I'm not sure what the problem was, but my hunch is that she was afraid her writing sucked. As for me, a mistake I made in early adulthood was to conclude -- based partly on the advice of some well-meaning but very blunt professionals I consulted -- that I was not talented enough to write for a living. That was many moons and four careers ago. Note: the blunt professionals didn't tell me I sucked. They only said that writing is a tough business. I inferred the rest.

3. Try not to suck. As a writer of newspaper features, I know my first imperative is to keep readers from turning the page. This means writing lively prose, and here we confront the great mystery: How the hell do we become good writers? I've read lots of advice on this topic, most of it arbitrary, subjective and ideosyncratic -- and all of it useful. Which is to say, one thing you can do is read as many writing manuals as you like, Strunk and White, whatever. Just don't worry if you find yourself violating, to choose an example at random, rule 20a (3) in the Harbrace College Handbook ("Choose the specific and concrete word rather the general and abstract one"). Like any creative endeavor, writing is choices. As long as you're thoughtful and confident in your choices, you'll be fine. (I believe this vocabulary of sucking and not sucking came from a journalism talk I once heard Dan Savage give, which brings to mind another excellent guideline: If you're going to borrow, borrow from the best.)

Big ones

It's the Olympics, which means that it's time once again to contemplate my favorite bit of unlicensed Olympics merchandise. Faithful Back With Interest readers will recall that two years ago, I used it to have some fun at the expense of controversial American gymnast Paul Hamm.

World's Greatest Lovers show cancelled

Yes, friends, tonight's World's Greatest Lovers show at the Shamrock has been cancelled, thanks to a very nasty snowstorm. So enjoy your night off!

Just want your extra time, and your kiss

I promise this is the last I'll say, maybe, about the kissing contest that excluded gays, then didn't. But on thedailypage.com, I wrote a little something about the unpleasant affair.

Item

Worlds collide. Actually, Reverend Horton Heat has already plowed this ground, if you'll pardon the expression.

Hinkytonk

Mark your calendars: This Thursday, Feb. 16, my country band the World's Greatest Lovers will again perform at the Shamrock, downtown Madison's only gay Irish bar (or Irish gay bar, if you prefer). Showtime is 10 pm, and there is no cover. The Shamrock is at 117 W. Main St.

Turn the page

I'm re-reading The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet, a 1954 work of juvenile science fiction that I loved a lot when I was a juvenile. This after I read the first 50 pages of Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, then stopped. I'm going to get back to that someday, though I do think it could benefit from some charts or something, maybe a free CD.