Yee haw

My stepmother's dad, Wayne, is head of security at the "Grand Ole Opry," and he often scores me tickets when I travel home to Nashville. This thrills me: I love the show in all its retrograde glory. Some of the stars may not have had a hit since the first Nixon administration, but frankly, I'd rather hear Jean Shepard sing "Wabash Cannonball" than most anything sung by the likes of whoever they're playing on mainstream country radio these days.

At first it looked like an "Opry" show wouldn't be in the cards this holidays. But a nasty winter storm changed our travel plans, so we were in Music City on Christmas. That was a Saturday, and there was indeed an "Opry" broadcast that night. Wayne invited Ereck and me to come on down to the Opry House.

It was my most exciting visit to the "Opry" ever. We were on the comp list for parking, and we got to use the artists' entrance. After we arrived, we milled about the dressing area and rubbed shoulders with the likes of Porter Wagoner and Jeannie Seely. Bluegrass legend Jesse McReynolds said hi, and "Opry" announcer Hairl Hensley looked at me as he got stuff out of his locker.

At last it was time for the show to begin, and Wayne took us to the stage, where for a time we sat on pews behind the drum kit. These always look from the auditorium to be the best seats in the house, but in fact the sound is not good back there. So we weren't able to fully appreciate the opening performances by Seely, Jack Greene and country up-and-comers Pinmonkey. After a time, though, Wayne moved us out front, where we saw performances by Wagoner, Shepard, Jim Ed Brown, the Osborne Brothers and Australian newcomer Sherrie Austin, among others.

It was a fabulous show, and it recharged my country-music batteries. The "Opry" moves so quickly and so smoothly, and the smoothness is epitomized by its--you'll pardon the expression--unsung heroine, Carol Lee Cooper, who leads the quartet of backup vocalists that accompanies many artists. The Carol Lee Singers are effortlessly polished, and I have fantasized about joining their ranks. (I was delighted, the day before yesterday, to learn that my mom has entertained the same fantasy.)

But as always, my favorite part of the show was the Opry Square Dancers, the troupe of young cloggers who bring to the "Opry" a considerable amount of sex appeal. These dances are tremendously exciting, and they make me wish I could clog.

Someday.