Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

The New York Times reports that the organizers of the U.S. Open golf tournament in Southampton, N.Y. have banned cell phones from the event. Phones are being confiscated at the gate. To this I say, hallelujah. Cell phones also should be banned from movie theaters, libraries and AA meetings, and the last time I was in an airport I desperately wanted a phone-free concourse.

Needless to say, I don't have a cell phone. I love my land line: it never cuts me off, it doesn't get me into car accidents, and the connection is always great. About once every six months some freakout makes me wish I had a cell phone at that moment, but generally there's still a payphone somewhere nearby. And anyway, I don't deliver babies. I never really need a cell phone.

Come to think of it, though, my inner obsessive-compulsive is a little worried about those payphones.